Reality is full of change. I’ve seen change all throughout my life. Waves completely reshape a cliff face, plants die when they are not watered, people’s lives become fuller when they drop the rubbish that was holding them back. I would go as far as to say the world IS change.
If the world is change, then what happens when one tries to cling on to one instance of reality by believing that it is “how things will always be”? What happens when one takes a dynamic process, slaps a label on it, and calls it “love” or “fear”?
Nominalization is the changing of a process into a “thing”; a verb into a noun. It is the mind taking a moving thing and “freezing” it in place. This could be in the form of a thought, an event you wish to reach, unconscious beliefs, interpretations of reality, relationships, and my personal favourite; one’s own self-image.
What happens when one takes a dynamic process, such as loving another person, and labels this as “love”?
This is illustrated in Stephen Covey’s book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”. I am paraphrasing here, but the story goes that one of Covey’s friends approaches him one day and says “you know what Stephen; I just don’t think I love my wife anymore.”
“The feeling isn’t there?” Covey asked.
“Yes, that’s right.”
“Then love her.”
“No, you don’t understand, the feeling of love isn’t there anymore.”
“Then that’s a good reason to love her. Love is a verb, the feeling is the fruit of this verb. So love her.”
The friend saw love as a “thing” rather than a process. Objectifying “love” as a noun implies that it is not a growing thing, and therefore doesn’t require consistent attention, appreciation and affirmation.
Although our minds are a brilliant tool, they can also be dysfunctional. Reality is change, so clinging onto an unchanging, static version of things is a denial of reality itself. When one denies reality, she denies life. When one denies life, she denies herself.
One of the most eye-opening things you can do for yourself is to sit down, and ask “where have I nominalised things in my life?” Really go into it for a few minutes. “Where have I nominalised in my relationships?” “Where have I nominalised the way I see the world?” “Where have I nominalised the way I see myself?” That last question is explored more in Ego -The False Self.
All right, so that’s my thought for the day. Have a good one guys.
